Bowflex Humor

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Top 10 Signs Your Bowflex Hasn't Been Used in a While

10. Bowflex is buried beneath empty pizza boxes.

9. House pets avoiding that area of the house because it's considered a bad neighborhood.

8. Children have draped blankets over it and claimed it as their fort.

7. Someone has written "wash me" in the dust on the bench.

6. You know you bought a Bowflex... You just don't remember where in the house you put it...

5. More cobwebs between the Power Rods than in all the castles in England.

4. Strange fungal rot clinging to the bottom of the bench.

3. Bowflex is grimier than Luke's X-wing when Yoda lifted it out of Dagobah Swamp.

2. Archaeologists show up to do a dig in your exercise room.

1. Dust bunnies under the bench humming the Pinky and the Brain theme song.

Upgrades Bowflex Doesn't Offer (but should)

Drink Holder
Hot Tub Attachment
TV/DVD Player
Icy Hot Dispenser
Magazine Rack
Vibrating Bench
Foldout Masseuse
Slave Driver with Whip

Excuses Why You Can't Bowflex Today

Can't find your exercise shoes

Don't want to wear yourself out before the next workout

The cat is sleeping on the bench.

The commute downstairs to the Bowflex room is too far.

The Force isn't with you today.

Waiting for breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack to settle

Weight belt isn't back from the cleaner's

You have to watch to see who's going to be voted off the island.

Too much effort to pull down the folding bench

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